MY JOURNEY OF REDISCOVERY

This is my story. This is my journey of rediscovering myself beyond my trials with anxiety and depression. I knew I have reached rock bottom when I found myself no longer able to complete the most mundane, routine daily tasks. Getting out of bed in the morning became so difficult, I felt physically exhausted just by lifting my head off my pillow. Anxiety and depression is strenuous, physically exhausting, emotionally draining and the best way I found dealing with it was isolation. Isolating myself from my friends and family and even hiding away from my husband. The shame of admitting that something is wrong weighed heavily on me, but I knew I could no longer continue to hide away from my thoughts and feelings. I found myself in a dark abyss of utter chaos. Sitting in a dark room, staring at nothing. Unable to eat. Unable to sleep. Exhausted. I watched the bubbly, confident woman I once was disappearing in front of my own eyes. The most difficult thing to do was not admitting that I needed help, but accepting the fact that I did! There is such a stigma even in western societies around mental health and I found myself guilty of thinking this would never happen to me and when it did it hit me unexpectedly and very hard. Reaching out to my husband, admitting I needed help has forced me to say it out loud: I am living with anxiety and depression. Receiving a medical diagnosis came as a relief because I finally knew what was wrong with me. It has a name. I now find myself looking and trying out different ways to manage my disorder. My journey is evolving each day and my first battle is to look beyond stigmas and learning to accept my anxiety and depression, not as me, but as an extension of me. It is my search to find ways to accept, embrace and improve how I deal with challenges this life throws at me so that I can life my best life possible. I am determined to learn to love, embrace and accept my diagnosis not just for my own inner peace but also for my amazing children and amazing husband. This is my journey and I invite you to join me in me rediscovery.